Why do you NOT know that hurts?

by Brandee

θ Anyone who has had an injury knows all too well that it hurts when pressure is applied, right? And a doctor, of all people, should know that it hurts, correct? So, riddle me this- Why do the doctors insist on pushing so hard when they examine you? Are they sadists? Do they enjoy causing us more pain? Is there some hidden message in the Hippocratic Oath? I happen to think there lies ominous reasoning behind the snakes in the medical symbol, Aesculapius.

I know that they must do their job and one of the duties is to examine a patient to best of their abilities. But, why be so brutal about it? Stop poking me- it hurts!!

This week I went for my monthly round of physician visits. Everything was going great until, once again, Dr. Evil, started to examine me and was down right brutal about it. It’s like he knows my sweet spot and makes a bee line for it. This guy is the best of the best and I understand how lucky I am to be under his care, but to be frank, he is a complete arse.

Reasons why I think he is an arse:

1. He has no bedside manner at all. He can be downright rude.
2. He can be dismissive. Just because it is not important to him, does not mean it’s less important to me.
3. He is overly clinical. I sometimes feel as if I am that creepy skeleton that hangs in the corner of a classroom. I am merely a medical puzzle for him to solve.
4. His attitude enters the exam room thirty feet before he does. Being overly confident can cause problems, mister! (insert wagging index finger here.)
5. He seems to forget that I am a person at times and not a medical road map to his next conquest.
6. He lives in his fugly green/blue scrubs. “Hey, look at me, I am a doctor!” Never have I seen him in anything else.

Reasons why I believe he is a good physician:

1. He is at the top of his field.
2. He stuck with me and moved forward when everyone else left me high and dry.
3. He did what was necessary to find out what was wrong with me.
4. He did not jump to conclusions and took one thing at a time until he hit pay dirt.
5. He saved my life. OK, so that does not count in the clinical sense, but it’s fair.
6. He never once told me there was nothing more that he could do.
7. He makes me feel ‘safe’ in his knowledge and past actions.
8. I trust him implicitly. (that is a first!)
9. He knows how to pick up a phone and call me, personally.

The point is that even though a doctor has the personality of a stethoscope (cold and uncomfortable), that does not mean that he/she is a bad doctor. Dr, Evil may never win a personality contest, but his dedication to his patients make up for his deficits ten fold.

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